Featuring

Kidd Bandit · Cereal Man · STURDY SAL · KEiTA · MacDaddy MYLO · Regular Rob · Sheikah · B3CCA · The Asylum · Daniel T · SlamTown Justice · Lara Frazier · and more

“Pleasures of the flesh are no longer yours. You have but one purpose, damned one. You will serve us for eternity.”
— scripture from a forgotten time

Kidd Bandit

When Kidd Bandit approached the border to SlamTown, she was reported to have been attacked by our very own Slam News BUSTER11. Upon entering, she appeared fine… mostly. Other than hissing at everyone and an aversion to crosses and bibles, it was show-business as usual. Truthfully, she’s always been a goblin—it didn’t feel that weird. But now she’s started trying to bite everyone, refers to herself as Bella Loca, and using the vampire rave song from Blade II DOES feel mighty suspicious…

Cereal Man

Cereal Man has been on a quest to win enough matches to prove to his SpaceDad that he’s deserving of rescue from SlamTown. It hasn’t been the most fruitful endeavor, but purportedly written in the stars is a tale of tides turning. Astrology aficionado MacDaddy MYLO says she sees it in the clear night sky.

Sturdy Sal

STURDY SAL MAKES HIS DEBUT. Never have we witnessed one more sturdy. Gasp and awe at the sturdiest of all God’s creatures. Marvel at sturdiness perfected. There are none more sturdy, for he IS the sturdiest. He is the SAL-iest. If we were to chisel this message into a mountain, it would fall before STURDY FN SAL.

KEiTA vs. Big Dave

KEiTA is many things: the bestie of MacDaddy MYLO, the top Content Creator in SlamTown, a real swell grappler—and also guilty of hypnotizing one of Dave Reckoning’s ChainMaidens with his malicious d-twerking. But BIG DAVE doesn’t just serve drinks at Dave’s Dungeon—he also serves PAIN. At BLOOD OMEN, both men will bring a friend and face off in tag team action!

Produced by Marco · Card subject to change